Local Bumper Sticker: "Prayer: The Only Defense Against Evil"

One may pray and pray and nothing that happens can with any certainty be said to have been brought about "because" of the prayer: that is post hoc reasoning. "I prayed and God granted my prayer" in addition to being solipsistic can only be a falsehood when one considers the statistical improbabilities involved. A poor man might pray for a fortune. The following day, a rich uncle dies and leaves him a mint. The poor man got what he wanted, but at what a cost! So, blaming himself for his uncle's death, the poor man shoots himself. "How sad," the grave digger observes. "Poor fellow having a brain aneurism." The logical problems inherent in claiming that prayer is efficacious keep it from proof: as with all things not proved, its failure lay in the complete absence of scientific evidence. When hospitalized persons were prayed for they did worse than those who were not, similarly situated.

Bill Burroughs once said we could pray in one hand and shit in the other, see which one fills up faster. Precisely.

Is Marcus Bachmann a Queer? Was Paul a Homophobic Misogynist?

Mrs. Marcus Bachmann, like her nutty hubby, is committed to the Booble. The O.T. in Leviticus, and the N.T. in the gospels of the raving homophobe and misogynist zealot Saul-Paul of Tarsus, make homosexuality an "abomination," which brings the penalty of stoning to death. (I think Shariah orders beheading for the same abomination.) What LGBT (my word: "Queer") people and many progressives and freethinkers know from science and reason is that Queers are born, not made. If it were possible to fulfill the mythical gay agenda and turn all little boys and girls into raving gays and lesbians, as the nurture argument goes, then the nature argument is false. (There appears to be no room for a middle, although I myself muse on it from time to time.)

The naturists, mindful of the bumpersticker slogan "Homosexuals Prove Darwin Was Wrong," point out the illogicality of a god who condemns gays but goes on putting so many on earth, implying an arbitrary, even perhaps perverse god, certainly not one worthy of respect, much less worship. The Bachmanns want to have it both ways. Since the O.T. condemns homosexuals and the O.T. as we all know is the literal word of "God," then homosexuals must be an abomination. One must suppose that the Prosperity Gospel allows Marcus to accept Medicare funding for his homo no more clinic, even as his lunatic wife runs for president lambasting Medicare. The most abominable thing, however, may be her marriage itself: to a deeply closeted, self-loathing closet queer. He should be congratulated: he has at least reached the status of "Saint" Paul: a self-loathing homophobic misogynist.

The Christianization of the American Armed Forces

The saying, “there are no atheists in foxholes,” is a lie. In their proselytic zeal, Christians show a willingness to stoop to any fib to foist Jesus off on anyone willing to listen. They do it outside abortion clinics, they do it at gay pride events, and they do it in military barracks. They even proselytize with the dead: witness their cynical, fraudulent attempts to put causa mortis words into the mouths of Einstein and even Darwin (the latter while the proselytes are simultaneously claiming fossils were only an example of God “fooling the evolutionists”). Remember, when the lies did not work during the witch pogroms (against women who helped abort unwanted babies), they went auto da fe and used fagots (yes, one “g”) for kindling. In other words, the same crimes they are laying at the feet of evangelical Muslims in general and Wahhabists in particular, Christians and especially evangelicals themselves prove guilty.

It’s our way or the highway. Our God is the only God and he wrote or dictated every line in the Bible/Koran. But both religions cherry pick their dogma and most Christians don’t even practice the basic tenets of the faith proposed by their own prophet. How can you deny women and LGBT people basic rights or rights not equal to the “average” heterosexual male and claim that you are compassionate? Why are we ignoring diurnal reality in favor of things that existed on the ground circa 5,000 B.C.E. (O.T.) and circa 800 C.E. (Koran)? Those people didn’t even have printing presses for God’s sake!

(Ooops. Naw, I don’t believe in God, but I have a nostalgia for Him.)

Tim Pawlenty (of Shit) on David Brooks' Editorial

If you caught Meet the Press today, you saw Gov. Tim Pawlenty (of shit) saying, of David Brooks' anti-Tea Party editorial: "Now is not the time for Rockefeller Republicanism." Duh! Nelson Rockefeller's perennial campaign to be president revealed a fairly candid, middle of the road politician who had socially liberal positions (he divorced at a time when it was tantamount to murder). What this obviously means is, Pawlenty (of shit) doesn't think normal Republicans should be consulted, implying that Brooks' chastisement of the GOP for its stubborn intransigence in debt ceiling negotiations was too sensible a solution. Pawlenty (of shit) was fortunate that the host did not bring up his failure to tell Mitt to his face that he was unelectable because of "Obamneycare." Instead, Pawlenty (of shit) was prodded into saying Mrs. Marcus Bachmann did not distinguish herself in the U.S. House. How could she? She was sponsoring such incredibly important legislation as putting the Founding Fathers, including John Quincey Adams, on a new U.S. postage stamp; a federal law making pregnant mothers of unwanted babies wait nine months before they are eligible for an abortion, and amending the U.S. constitution to read that all speech except Shariah is protected by the first amendment.

Words, Words, Words: The Semantics of "Family"

The road to hell is paved with best intentions.  Semanticists would cringe at some of the twisted ideations behind new uses of certain words, and, sadly, "family" is one of them.  Although as we all know this is an age of extended families, the traditional "nuclear family unit" is what is contemplated by the bigoted evangelicals.  They want "family," like "marriage," to be the special province of bigoted evangelical social policy, and it's tempting to flaunt the Anthony's as evidence of what many, if not most, nuclear families end up looking like.  (Note that in this case, the Anthony's really are a nuclear family: mom, pop, a boy, a girl.)  We can start with the obvious: they probably had religious upbringings, too.  All four of them are devout liars.  If false witness were punished by an omniscient God, hurling lightning, the Anthony's would be long gone, as would such Pastors as John Hagee and such PAC ops as Tony Perkins.  These people bear false witness about science and reason and a good omnipotent God would have bolted them with a billion volts long, long ago.  Of course, this begs the question: If God is omniscient why did He create the Anthony's, Hagee, and Perkins in the first place?  And while we are at it, who created God?

A Modest Proposal to Marginalize Theocratic Candidates

Like Swift, I occasionally come up with modest proposals.  Being the wife of a rabid homophobe who compares us to "barbarians," and following the same faith (evangelical Christianity -- an oxymoron if ever there was one) poor Mrs. Bachmann just can't express an opinion of her own.  First, she has become the butt of educated peoples' jokes ("John Quincey Adams was a Founding Father," "The Revolution's first shot was fired in Concord, New Hampshire"... I could go on).  Second, like Billary, you are getting a pair of ignoramuses when you vote for Mrs. Bachmann: together, like Beast and Scarlet Woman, they will bring down the U.S.A. in a blaze of Rapture as we bomb Iran and Pakistan retaliates and....Think about this: do you really want that horrid woman quite so close to the red button built into the Oval Office desk?  Third, quit calling her Michelle.  She is only a Stepfordian cypher, a mere help mate to Mr. Bachmann.  Under the circumstances, I think we should also start calling them the Backwards.

They Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth

http://ramonasvoices.blogspot.com/2011/07/friday-follies-on-bachmann-founding.html